I have almost always been something of a Spiritual person. I whole-heartedly believed in God, Heaven and Hell from when I was a young boy to about the age of thirteen. The difference in my belief back then was that my understanding of Heaven and Hell was that they were concrete places to which we would physically travel when we died.
At thirteen I began to feel like I was too smart to believe something as illogical as a man living in the clouds who sees and controls everything we do. That idea still seems ludicrous to me today, though my brain is only twenty-four years old.
In short, I became an Atheist; believing that we had just one chance at life and when our time is up, our life is over. I lived by the notion that nobody controls our life but us and the only person watching as closely as God was said to be, was your own self. It made perfect sense to me.
Throughout my teen years, I couldn’t look beyond my own self. I was stuck in my mind. I believed that using logic could prove or disprove anything. I was so wrapped up in my ego that I could not accept that there was something in this world that was greater than me.
My brain had gotten too “smart” for its own good. I was in the habit of talking down to people who believed in God and the After-life and would readily spew logical information to any conscious vessel, endlessly seeking to shatter their belief systems. Seems harsh, doesn’t it?
That’s a young boy void of the Love of God for you.
Several years later, in my early twenties, my belief in a higher power was poetically resurrected. The feeling of something greater than myself grew slowly from within me but once the seeds had taken hold, it was deeply rooted once again and my belief blossomed in a more profound way.
I no longer believed that God was a man in the sky, but rather the energy that binds all beings on Earth and in the Universe. I stopped looking for logical reasons to dispute this belief because I have come to understand that God’s Energy is not based in logic. His power is Love and Love is anything but logical. Anyone who has been in love would almost certainly agree that Love knows no bounds and that True Love has no need for logic or reason; it simply is. This is the eternal scope of Source Energy.
Having established all of that, I had never had what would be considered a real connection with God, other than the knowing that his Energy connected us all and that his presence would become known if we opened ourselves up to it. At that point, I hadn’t fully opened myself up to it, and so even though I believed in God, our connection was not strong.
My perspective changed literally overnight, in an astral projection experience where I firmly believe I witnessed Source Energy in its purest form. From this point on I will refer to ‘God’ as, ‘Source Energy’ because to me it elaborates one step further as to what God really is. ‘God’ seems to me like an improper way of explaining the creative source; I find that when using the word ‘God’ his power is being astoundingly under-rated. ‘Source Energy’ sounds more realistic. This is a personal preference that I wanted to explain before I shared my experience. In my eyes, the power is all the same no matter what title it is given. Here we go.
It was during the night after I had performed a night-time meditation meant to relax the body and open the third eye to multi-dimensional awareness. After falling asleep, I recall being in a dream state, what I was dreaming of I cannot remember though that much is unimportant. There was a distinct shift in perspective, one in which I physically felt myself snap into consciousness. I did not wake, I became conscious. A foreign and disconcerting feeling surged through me in that moment, as I had just begun experiencing something I had never experienced before.
The experience began when I felt my breath leave my body.
This is a feeling I will never forget. It felt as though it would be the last breath I would ever take, like the last puff of air was pushed out of my lungs and there was no room to fill them up again. This moment, which is all it was; a mere moment, was very unsettling.
As the fear passed, something else happened. Something which would seem equally as disturbing but I was not filled with the same anxiousness as I was when I had felt my breath escape. I felt, in a very physical way, my Inner Self or my Soul being pulled out of my body as effortlessly as removing a wool hat from a shaved head. At that point I was totally aware of where I was, I wasn’t in our physical reality, I wasn’t in a dream-state, I was fully conscious within the Spiritual Realm. Gravity was not a factor in this place, neither was time, nor logic.
After my Soul had been pulled out of my body, my Spirit was drawn upwards at a tremendous speed. I flew effortlessly up over the city, it was night-time but the city was alit with a splendorous, radiant light. These were no man-made 60-watt or fluorescent light-bulbs illuminating the city, it was a powerful white light. I had never seen a light so brilliant. It was pulsating rhythmically, brighter and dimmer, brighter and dimmer, like a heartbeat. I did not stop to take in the sights, for though I felt entirely free and at peace; there was a larger purpose for this journey, and I was being taken along for the ride rather than steering the vehicle.
I ascended high above and away from the city. I travelled briefly through swirling clouds coloured a dense grey, almost like a smog, in which nothing was visible. Again, there was no fear. The entire experience was comfortable. I knew I was going somewhere wonderful.
Breaking through the cloud cover, I was set before a sight which was truly magnificent. This was the height of the experience and the reason I had travelled above the city of light and through the blinding clouds. There are few ways to describe what I saw and even fewer ways to describe how I felt. This is my best explanation.
It was golden light, bright and magnificent. It was revolving in a mass of large tubules which all wound into and through one another and were all connected as one. Physically, it was the most complex representation of the Infinity symbol I have ever seen. It was alive. It was Infinite. It was pure Love. It was Source Energy. It was everything positive at once: wisdom, truth, love, peace, purity, divinity and joy; to name a few.
No words were spoken and yet I understood in my heart what it was communicating to me.
I will use my words to the best of my abilities but the feeling was so profound that I will not be able to properly elicit how powerful this was; to Be with Source. It made me understand in that moment that everything, while complex to the mind, is so simple to the heart. It was Love and it was so blissfully simple. I realized in that moment that this eternal energy was inside me and would always be with me no matter what.
I was in a state of absolute awe. I was with the physical representation of Source Energy for only a few brief moments, which was all the time I needed to gather the message.
It was at that point, when I felt myself begin descending rapidly, as if I were a fish being reeled in by a determined fisherman. My Spirit was being retracted backwards at incredible speed, in a controlled dive, all the while feeling totally comfortable and relaxed. I finally settled back into my body and opened my physical eyes to realize I was back in my physical body in the physical realm, but I was not the same.
For weeks and months, I pondered the meaning of this experience. To this day, the answer is unclear. Was I witnessing Source Energy in Its rawest form? Was it some form of power outside of myself? Or was I perhaps looking within to the piece of Source Energy which is within all of us? Was I seeing the profundity of our power within? Or was I just having a dream?
It has been over two years since I had this experience and this is the best answer I have come up with: I met face-to-face, so to speak, with the piece of Source Energy within me. I was reminded explicitly that we are never alone. All it takes is the awareness of Source Energy’s eternal presence within us to spark the joyful feeling of connectedness to all that is. It is truly omnipresent and it will wait an eternity for us to reconnect to its loving Energy.
Source Energy does not exist within the boundaries of time and space, it merely channels its energy into this realm using vessels; we the people. So it will literally wait an eternity for us to become aware of Its Power and reconnect. Its Power remains constant and will not diminish over time. It is our Power which will be lessened by the disconnection from Source, not the other way around.
For the amount of knowledge I ascertained from this experience, it was quite short when speaking in terms of linear time. In real time, the experience would have taken no more than a minute or a minute and a half. It was the most efficient learning experience I have ever had. I absorbed so much knowledge from that revolving mass of golden Source Energy that my mind is not advanced enough to elaborate the entirety of its divine meaning. This is the best my brain could do to describe it.
I hope you have gained something valuable from reading about my experience, I know I have gained something invaluable from experiencing it.